accountable - 负责任的
authoritarian - 独裁主义
consistently - 一致
contract - 合同，契约
corruption - 腐败
dictator - 独裁者
dispute - 争论
endemic - 地方性的
enormously - 巨大的
governance - 统治
graft - 贪污
loan - 贷款
obstacle - 障碍
pledge - 许诺
分类:
Diary
assert - 资产
avert - 避开
bond - 债券
curb - 抑制
deficit - 赤字
trade deficit - 贸易逆差
depreciation - 贬值
dilemma - 困境
lender - 借贷
liquidity - 流动性，流畅
non-profit - 非营利
ride this out - 渡过困境
whammy - 晦气
double whammy - 雪上加霜
分类:
Diary
via VOA 12 April 2006
conclude - 作结论
escalation - 扩大
marginalization - 忽视
policy - 政策
proposal - 提案
so-called - 所谓
subject - 受支配
subsidy - 补贴
surge - 澎湃
分类:
Diary
alarmist - （贬）大惊小怪的
breach lines - 冲散队伍
celebrity - 名人
Chamber of Commerce - 商会
crucial - 至关重要的
fire hose - 消防栓
FTA - Free Trade Agreement
harbinger - 预兆
one's identity - 身份
protester - 示威抗议者
rhetoric - 修辞
rural - 乡下的，田园的
stalwart - 健壮的人
steamroll - 碾过
swamp - n.沼泽, v.陷入困境
tacit - 缄默的
tariffs and quotas - 关税配额
trade surplus - 盈余
分类:
Diary
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.
A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
分类:
humour
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
分类:
humour
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"Well, you've done the right thing," says Mommy
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
分类:
humour
Wife: Dear! Take a look at those soldiers gawking at the lovely young girl passing by.
Husband: Soldiers? What soldiers?
分类:
humour
A: OK, everybody. Let's call it a day!
B: I'm glad you said that. It's been such a hectic day.
C: It really was! I'm dead tired.
D: I'm really pooped, too!
分类:
dialog
A: She told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.
B: The mean thing! I told her not to tell you I told her.
A: Well, don"t tell her that I told you she told me.
分类:
humour
"I'm always forgetting things," the distraught man grumbled to the psychiatrist. "What should I do?"
"The first thing to do," the doctor prescribed, "is pay me in advance."
分类:
humour
A: What's wrong?
B: I don't know how to jump-start my car.
A: Oh, it's easy. Let me do it... Voila!
B: Thank you very much.
A: It's a cinch.
分类:
dialog
"For heaven's sake, stop asking so many questions, Margaret," cried mother. "Curiosity killed the cat."
After three minutes of meditation, little Maggie asked, "What did the cat want to know?"
分类:
humour
Mother: We should never defer until tomorrow what we can do today, should we?
Daughter: Then, Mother, we had better eat the rest of the pie today, hadn't we?
分类:
humour
A: You know what?
B: What?
A: I think this letter has to be retyped.
B: What's wrong with it?
A: First of all, there are too many typos.
分类:
dialog
A couple took their three-year-old son to the movies with them. On the way, the usher said they'd have to leave if the baby cried. "But we'll refund you money" he added.
After watching the movie for a half-hour, the husband turned to his wife. "Well, what do you think?" he asked.
"It's the worst thing I've ever seen!" the wife replied.
"Me too," he agreed, "shake little Tom."
分类:
humour
A: I wonder if it's all right with him.
B: Why do you have to ask for his permission?
A: I can't help it. He's always been very bossy.
B: I guess you can rebel sometimes.
分类:
dialog
A plumber was called to fix a pipe. He arrived, banged the pipes for 15 minutes, and said to the homeowner that'll be $35.
The homeowner said, "Thirty-five dollars! Why? That's $140 per hour!! I am a lawyer and only make $100 an hour!!"
The plumber replied, "Yeah, that's what I got when I was a lawyer."
心寒呀-.-
分类:
humour
A man went to the dentist, sat in the chair and immediately began shouting and screaming. "What's all the fuss about?" demanded the dentist. "I haven't touched your tooth yet."
"I know," said the patient, "but you're - aagh! - Standing on my foot!"
分类:
humour
A: How dare you say that? I just can't stand it.
B: Oh, give me a break. I didn't mean it.
A: Oh, what did you mean, then?
B: I just wanted to say that you need to backup your opinion with facts.
分类:
dialog
I
J: OK, you guys. Time is up. Get working.
M: It's still 12:30. We haven't even started lunch yet.
J: Be quiet, Matthew. All joking aside, go back to work.
M: All right, Mr. Johnson.
II
A: I will offer a million dollar bonus when the contract is made.
B: Wow!
A: All joking aside, we've come to a deadlock. Can anybody come up with a good idea?
B: I think we'll need about a week to gather new information.
分类:
dialog
"Doctor, doctor!" said the panic-stricken woman, "my husband was asleep with his mouth open and he's swallowed a mouse! What shall I do?"
"Quite simple," said the doctor calmly. "You just tie a lump of cheese to a piece of string and lower it into your husband's mouth. As soon as the mouse takes a bite - haul it out."
"Oh, I see. Thank you, doctor. I'll go round to the fishmonger straight away and get a cod's head."
"What do you want a cod's head for?"
"Oh - I forgot to tell you, I've got to get the cat out first!"
分类:
humour
In the past 12 years my teeth have needed extensive treatment, so on my last two visits to the dentist, I was delighted when he told me nothing needed attention.
"Do you realize, that's a whole year without any treatment?" I exclaimed on my second visit.
"Well, let's face it," my dentist said with a mile, "there's only one more thing you could suffer from - metal fatigue."
分类:
humour
A man's wife could not read the thermometer. She took her husband's temperature with it and gave a call to the doctor. "Dear Doctor, please come at once. My husband's temperature is 63."
The doctor replied, "Dear Madam, I can do nothing. Send for the fire brigade."
分类:
humour
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. "Need some help?" a secretary, walking by, asked.
"Yes," he replied, "How does this thing work?"
"Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.
"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
分类:
humour
My new data-entry assistant could often be heard offering encouragement to her computer. "You can do it, big guy!" She would say. "Good boy! Nice job, fellow."
After her one particularly lengthy pep talk. I asked, "How do you know your computer's male?"She said, "Because you have to tell it what to do."
分类:
humour
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his younger employees.
"Yes, sir."
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on, "About an hour after you left yesterday to go to your grandfather's funeral, he stopped in to see you."
分类:
humour
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office.
Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"
分类:
humour
The harsh, stingy like boss berated his employee who was due at 8 but did not get in until nine.
"Look at me," said the employee, holding up a bandaged arm, "I fell out a second-story window."
The boss asked angrily, "Did that take an hour?"
分类:
humour
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into a discussion of Archimedes' principle of water displacement.
He told us that Archimedes noticed that when he got into a pool at public bathhouse, the water rose, spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, Eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One classmate took a wild guess: "I am naked, I am naked!"
分类:
humour
An absent-minded professor was lecturing on anatomy. "To show you more clearly what I mean, I have here a parcel with a dissected frog. I want you to examine it very carefully."
The professor unwrapped the parcel and saw that it contained two sandwiches and a hardboiled egg. Astonished, the professor said: "I was sure I had eaten my lunch, but where is the frog?"
分类:
humour
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Tom: At night.
Teacher: Who told you that?
Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn't built in a day
分类:
humour
I
A: Do you know Linda is talking about the A project again?
B: Again? Whether she does it or not, I don't give a damn!
A: I know what you mean.
B: It's like beating a dead horse.
II
A: Don't you have to complete this work?
B: I don't give a damn. Joe is the one who messed it up. He should take care of it.
A: Well, at least you can help him.
B: Yeah. All right.
分类:
humour
Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school?
Jimmy: I don't know…
Teacher: Correct.
分类:
humour
At the student union a conceited and pompous old visitor was boring a group of apprentices with his unasked for advice.
"Young men," he said, "Should begin at the bottom of their business, and work up."
"I can't," responded one of them.
"And why not, I should like to know?" asked the adviser.
"It's just that I happen to be a well-digger, that's all!" answered the apprentice.
分类:
humour
Dialog I
A: That was Sherry. She wants me to go to Hong Kong next month.
B: Why don't you?
A: I don't know whether I should go or not.
B: I think you should, but, it's up to you, of course. Do whatever you want.
Dialog II
A: Do you think I should make the donation?
B: It's up to you.
A: I really don't know what to do.
B: Don't ask me. I'm not your mother.
分类:
dialog
The newly weds had just sneaked off to a honeymoon resort. The groom got into bed, but the bride pulled up a chair and sat gazing out of the window at stars.
"Aren't you coming to bed?" her husband asked.
"No." She replied. "Mother told me this would be the most beautiful night of my life. And I'm not going to miss a minute of it."
分类:
humour
Mary and Mick had been good friends for years. Each night after she closed her shop, Mary would go to Mick's place, cook their dinner, wash up and return to her home.
One evening after his had gone on for 30 years, she said, "Mick, it's about time we got married."
"Oh, Mary," Mick sighed. "Who'd have us?"
分类:
humour
Dialog I
A: May I help you?
B: Yes. I need 2 pounds of ground beef, 5 lamb chops and 1 pound of sausage.
A: Would that be all?
B: Yes, that's about all I need now.
Dialog II
A: What is necessary to bake this cake?
B: 2 eggs, milk, flour, sugar, shortening, and some cheese.
A: Is that all?
B: That's about all there is to it.
分类:
dialog
"What am I supposed to do?" a young man looking to get married ask his friends.
"Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like."
"Oh, that's easy." His pal replied. "All you have to do is to find someone who's just like your mother."
"I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didn't like."
分类:
humour
A: He's a real jerk. I can't stand him.
B: Never say that again, for heaven's sake! He means well.
A: Ha, ha, ha. You don't know him enough.
jerk 笨蛋
for heaven's sake 看在老天的份上
分类:
dialog
About two weeks before our fifth anniversary, my husband asked me what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic. On our anniversary night, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet.
"A little four-letter word made me get this for you," he said softly. "Oh, how sweet," I whispered. "L-O-V-E?"
"No," he replied. "S-A-L-E."
分类:
humour
A: Do you have a chance to renegotiate with Bill?
B: Forget it! He doesn't even listen to me.
A: What's wrong with him?
B: That's what I want to know.
分类:
dialog
Malborn sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first of the terrible news?" the lawyer asked.
"Give me the bad news first."
"Your wife found a picture worth a half million dollars."
"That's the bad news?" asked Malborn incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news."
"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
分类:
humour
A: Why aren't you married yet?
B: My girlfriend would not marry me.
A: Why not?
B: Because I'm not rich enough.
A: But your father owns a very big farm, and he hasn't many years to live. You should have told your girlfriend that.
B: I did, so she is my stepmother now.
分类:
humour
Bill and Hillary are driving in Arkansas when they pass a gas station. Hillary tells Bill she once dated the attendant. "Just think," says Bill, "if you'd married him, you'd have ended up as a pump jockey's wife."
"No," says Hillary, "if I'd married him, he'd be president."
分类:
humour
Bill and Hillary are driving in Arkansas when they pass a gas station. Hillary tells Bill she once dated the attendant. "Just think," says Bill, "if you'd married him, you'd have ended up as a pump jockey's wife."
"No," says Hillary, "if I'd married him, he'd be president."
分类:
humour
When I was waiting in line at the bank, I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll, which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.
"No, no, dear," said the boy's mother, and then, turning to the teller, "I beg your pardon, young man. Please forgive my son. He's just been to the zoo."
分类:
humour
Little Frank: Granny is an awful coward.
Father: Why do you think so?
Little Frank: Whenever we cross the road, she always grabs hold of my hand.
分类:
humour
Little Frank: Granny is an awful coward.
Father: Why do you think so?
Little Frank: Whenever we cross the road, she always grabs hold of my hand.
分类:
humour
A: What are you drinking?
B: Pineapple juice.
A: Good?
B: Yes, I like it very much. Have a sip!
分类:
dialog
Mrs. Johes and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception and all the excitement was over. Karen said to her mother, "Why did the bride change her mind, Mummy?"
"What do you mean, change her mind?" asked Mrs. Jones.
"Well," said the moppet, "She went into the church with one man and came out with another!"
分类:
humour
A: From the way she talks, she must be an Australian.
B: How do you know?
A: She said 'today' like 'to die.'
B: I see. But she might be a Londoner.
分类:
dialog
A Schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."
Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.
"That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."
分类:
humour
"Larry! Come here!"" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, "I've just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night, You wretched, rude boy!"
"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth.
"I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance."
"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"
"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I've ever danced with!"
分类:
humour
My teenage son was at that rebellious stage when a parent's endorsement of anything is the kiss of death. So I was pleased he asked me to help him pick a shirt to wear to a party. On his bed were the choices: blue, white and beige.
"I like the blue one," I said.
"What's your second choice?"
"The white one."
"Thanks," he said and put on the beige shirt.
分类:
humour
A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, "Who is the most obedient, never talks back to Mother and does everything he or she is told?" he inquired.
There was silence, and then a chorus of voices: "You play with it, Daddy!"
分类:
humour
While my daughter and I were going through an extra closet sorting out clothes, I came across a favorite dress of mine from slimmer days. She tried it on, and it fitted her perfectly. After I gave it to her, she thanked me.
"Oh, you're welcome, honey," I said. "My loss is your gain."
"No, Mom," she said, grinning. "Your gain is my gain."
分类:
humour
When we got our long-distance phone bill, we found that our daughter, Cathy, had been making 60-minute calls to a boyfriend away at college. "From now on," her father said firmly, "Your calls are limited to five minutes."
"Dad, what can I say in five minutes?" Cathy wailed.
"Call meback," he answered.
分类:
humour
A: Jack Lewis is coming tomorrow.
B: Really? I'd better take a day off then.
A: Why?
B: Because he's the last person I want to see. I just can't get along with him.
the last
「最不愿意[可能]~的」此语用于强调极不愿意做某事，或某事极不可能发生或成真。the last person I want to see「最不想见的人」，这样的"the last ~"带有将之排除在自己的选择范围之外的味道，例如Karaoke bar is the last place she would go to.「卡拉OK酒吧是她最不想上的地方。」
分类:
dialog
Mother: What are you crying for?
Tommy: Teacher kept me in for something I didn't do.
Mother: Something you didn't do? What was it?
Tommy: M-m-my lessons!
分类:
humour
The father was reading the school-report which bad just been handed to him by his hopful son. His brow was wrathful as he read:
"English, poor; French, weak; mathematics, fair;" and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad.
"Well, dad," said the son, "it is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" and he pointed to the next line, which read: "Health, excellent."
分类:
humour
A: Paul is a good friend of mine.
B: Unlike his brother Bob, he is an introvert, isn't he?
A: Yes, but he has the best sense of humor.
B: Sometimes, pretty dry, though.
introvert - 内向的人，extrovert 外向的人
dry - 冷冰冰的，没有人情味的
分类:
dialog
The couple seated in a restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table, their waiter suddenly rushed over.
"Madam, look," he said. "Your husband just slid under the table."
"No, he didn't," she replied. "My husband just came in the door."
分类:
humour
A husband and wife drove for miles in silence after a terrible argument in which neither would budge. The husband pointed to a mule in a pasture.
"Relative of yours?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied. "By marriage."
PS: 呵呵，看懂了吗？
分类:
humour
An adjective has three qualitative degrees: good, better and best.
The pernickety English grammar teacher married a man of quality.
"You are the best woman in my life," announced the groom on their wedding night.
"And just who were the other two?" angrily snapped the grammar-conscious bride.
分类:
humour
A: We have a regulation here ─ rather unique one.
B: What kind of regulation, may I ask?
A: Only your birthday suit is allowed to enter this place.
B: Are you kidding me?
分类:
dialog
A: For sanitary reasons, you're supposed to swim in your birthday suit here.
B: I don't have my birthday suit.
A: That means you have to swim with nothing on.
B: I see.
分类:
dialog